The Subject of Wives

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her ???.
- David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. -Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. -Anonymous

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?
- Dumas


I had some words with my wife, and she had many paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud


'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
- Anonymous


'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.' -Sam Kinison

'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
-James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.... - Nash

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. - Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.' - Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
- Anonymous